Funny Bible Jokes
Clean, family-friendly fun with a biblical twist!
Hey there, giggle gang! If you're looking for a few laughs mixed with a sprinkle of faith, you're in the right place. These funny Bible jokes are perfect for kids, adults, Sunday School teachers, youth group leaders, or anyone who loves the Good Book and a good chuckle.
Now, let’s be honest, some of these jokes might go over little heads if they don’t know their Moses from their Matthew, but that’s all part of the fun! You’ll find everything from classic puns to cheesy groaners, all squeaky clean and Bible-themed.
Old Testament Jokes
1. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?
Because Noah was always standing on the deck!
2. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Noah, he was able to float his stock while the whole world was in liquidation!
3. How did Moses make his coffee?
He brews it. (Get it? Hebrews!)
4. What kind of car did the Israelites drive?
A Honda… because the Bible says they were all in one Accord.
5. Who was the fastest runner in the Bible?
Adam—he was first in the human race!
6. Why did the sun never set on the Israelites?
Because they had Joshua and he made the sun stand still!
7. What’s a missionary’s favorite type of car?
A convertible, because they like to convert people!
8. Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
Because he didn’t want to split hairs.
New Testament Giggles
9. Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean?
Because he just knew there was something fishy about it.
10. Why was the broom late for church?
Because it over-swept.
11. What did John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
The same middle name.
12. Why couldn’t Peter play cards?
Because he was always fishing!
13. What’s Jesus’ favorite type of exercise?
CrossFit!
14. Why did Jesus use a smartphone?
To make “callings” come true!
15. What was the Apostle Paul's favorite sport?
Wrestling, because he said he fought the good fight!
16. Who in the Bible knew the most people?
Abraham, he knew a lot! (Get it? Lot?)
Sunday School Favorites (Kid-Approved)
17. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
Because it ran out of juice! (Okay, not super biblical, but still fruity and funny!)
18. What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin’ Catholic.
19. Why did Jesus make so many fish sandwiches?
Because he had a lot of followers to feed on Instagram.
20. What’s a Bible character’s favorite pizza?
Cheesus crust!
21. What’s a skeleton doing in church?
He’s looking for the body of Christ!
22. How do angels greet each other?
“Halo!”
23. What’s an angel’s favorite instrument?
A harp, because they love to pluck up praise.
24. What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?
Floodlights!
Slightly Clever (But Still Fun!)
25. Why did the fig tree get in trouble?
Because it was acting shady.
26. Why did the Israelites carry sticks in the desert?
Because Moses told them to stick together!
27. What book of the Bible is best for people who love math?
Numbers!
28. What do you call a Bible character who just broke up with his girlfriend?
A Ruth-less man.
29. What did the priest say to the coffee shop owner?
You’ve bean blessed.
30. Who was the most business-savvy woman in the Bible?
Pharaoh’s daughter, she went down to the bank of the Nile and pulled out a little prophet.
31. What do you get when you cross a Bible character with a pirate?
Arrrrrrk of the Covenant!
Bonus: One-Liners for Quick Laughs
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“Moses was the first person to download files from the cloud using a tablet.”
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“God’s Wi-Fi password is ‘praydaily’, connect and stay strong!”
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“The Bible: the only book where the author is always in the room when you read it.”
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“If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.”
Fun Bible Joke Ideas for Kids
Want to make these jokes even more fun? Here are a few silly ideas:
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Bible Joke Jar – Write jokes on slips of paper and pull one out during dinner or devotions.
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Sunday School Giggles Game – Share one each week and vote on the funniest.
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Bible Joke Coloring Pages – Create printable pages with jokes and fun illustrations.
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Lunchtime Laughs – Slip one of these into your kiddo’s lunchbox. Instant smile!
Little Lesson Behind the Laughter
Yes, these jokes are silly, but they’re also a sweet way to spark curiosity about the Bible! If a joke about Jonah and the whale gets your kid asking more questions about his story, that’s a parenting win right there.
And hey, laughing together is a wonderful way to make faith fun. After all, God created joy, laughter, and silly senses of humor, too!
Want More Family Fun?
If you liked these Bible jokes, you might also enjoy:
Whether you're five or fifty-five, there's just something heartwarming about a good, clean Bible joke. Share them at church, at home, or even in the car ride to school. Laughs are contagious, and they're even sweeter when shared.
God gave us the gift of laughter… so let’s use it well!
